Mistake #1: Creating a Time-Sharing Schedule That Is Too Vague

One of the biggest parenting-plan mistakes is agreeing to language that sounds cooperative but does not provide enough detail when the parents later disagree.

For example, a provision stating that “the parents will share reasonable time with the child” may work perfectly while both parents communicate well. The problem arises when they stop agreeing about what “reasonable” means.

A parenting plan should provide enough detail for both parents to understand the regular time-sharing schedule without having to renegotiate basic arrangements every week.

Important questions can include:

• Which days will the child spend with each parent?
• What time does each time-sharing period begin and end?
• Who picks up the child?
• Who returns the child?
• Does the schedule change during the school year?
• What happens on teacher workdays or other days when school is closed?
• How are reasonable requests for schedule changes handled?

Florida law requires parenting plans to address time-sharing and other responsibilities involving the child. Parents can review the official Florida Courts Parenting Plan Forms 12.995 A–C for examples of subjects addressed in Florida parenting plans.

The goal is not to create a rule for every conceivable situation. It is to eliminate unnecessary uncertainty about the circumstances most likely to arise.

For a broader discussion of parenting-plan provisions and time-sharing, see Greenberg Law’s Broward Parenting Plan and Time-Sharing Guide.

Mistake #2: Forgetting About Holidays, School Breaks and Summer

Parents sometimes devote most of their attention to the ordinary Monday-through-Sunday schedule and give much less thought to holidays, school breaks, and summer vacation.

Then Thanksgiving arrives and both parents expect the child to be with them.

A well-developed parenting plan should address more than the regular weekly schedule. Depending on the family’s circumstances and traditions, parents may need to consider:

• Thanksgiving;
• winter school break;
• Christmas or other religious holidays;
• New Year’s;
• spring break;
• Mother’s Day;
• Father’s Day;
• the child’s birthday;
• each parent’s birthday;
• three-day weekends;
• summer vacation;
• family travel; and
• other holidays or special occasions important to the family.

Parents should also understand how the holiday schedule interacts with the ordinary weekly schedule. A parenting plan can make clear when a holiday or vacation provision takes priority over regular time-sharing.

Think Beyond This Year’s Calendar

A holiday arrangement should ideally be workable in future years as well. Parents may alternate certain holidays annually, divide longer school breaks, assign particular holidays consistently, or develop another arrangement appropriate for their child.

Clear holiday provisions can prevent the parents from having to renegotiate the same disputes every year and can give the child greater predictability about where important occasions will be spent.

Mistake #3: Failing to Clearly Address Transportation and Exchanges

A parenting plan can specify exactly when a child will be with each parent and still generate repeated conflict if transportation and exchanges are unclear.

Parents should consider practical questions such as:

• Who picks up the child at the beginning of time-sharing?
• Who returns the child?
• Where will exchanges occur?
• What time will exchanges take place?
• Can school pickup or drop-off serve as the exchange?
• How should a parent communicate an unavoidable delay?
• Who handles transportation to extracurricular activities?
• How will transportation work during holidays and vacations?

These details become particularly important when parents live farther apart or have different work schedules.

Florida Statute § 61.13 includes requirements concerning parenting plans and the locations used for child exchanges. Depending on the circumstances, safety-related provisions may also become important.

Make Routine Exchanges Routine

Routine exchanges should not require a new negotiation every time the child moves between households. Clear provisions concerning location, time, and transportation responsibilities can eliminate many avoidable disagreements.

For some families, using school as the exchange point can reduce direct exchanges between parents and simplify the child’s transition. For others, a different arrangement may be more practical.

The best transportation provisions are generally the ones both parents can understand and realistically follow.

Mistake #4: Designing a Schedule Around the Parents Instead of the Child

Parents naturally think about their own work schedules, weekends, vacations, and personal commitments when creating a parenting plan. Those considerations can be important, but the parenting schedule ultimately needs to work for the child.

Florida’s legal focus is the best interests of the child. Under Florida Statute § 61.13, courts consider numerous factors affecting a child’s welfare when determining parenting arrangements.

Parents should think about the child’s:

• school schedule;
• homework and study time;
• bedtime and morning routines;
• extracurricular activities;
• transportation needs;
• friendships and community relationships;
• medical or special needs;
• age and developmental needs; and
• established routines.

Current Florida law establishes a rebuttable presumption that equal time-sharing is in a minor child’s best interests. That does not mean parents should simply divide a calendar in half without considering how the schedule will actually affect their child.

A Schedule Can Look Good on Paper and Still Be Difficult for the Child

For example, an equal schedule may appear straightforward when parents look only at the number of overnights. If the parents live far apart, however, the child may face lengthy school-day transportation, earlier mornings, later evenings, or difficulty participating in activities.

The better question is not simply, “How many days does each parent receive?” It is also, “How will this schedule work in our child’s everyday life?”

For a more detailed explanation of the factors involved in creating a schedule, see Greenberg Law’s How Is Time-Sharing Determined in Florida? and 50/50 Custody in Florida Explained.

Mistake #5: Using the Child as the Messenger Between Parents

Communication can become difficult after parents separate. One mistake is allowing the child to become the primary messenger between the two households.

Statements such as these can place the child directly in the middle:

• “Tell your father I’ll pick you up at six.”
• “Ask your mother if you can stay another night.”
• “Tell Dad he needs to bring your soccer equipment.”
• “Ask Mom why she changed the schedule.”

These may seem like minor requests, but repeatedly requiring the child to carry messages can make the child responsible for communication that should generally occur between the parents.

Florida’s best-interest factors include each parent’s ability and willingness to communicate with and keep the other parent informed about issues and activities involving the child. Florida law also addresses protecting the child from ongoing litigation and avoiding disparagement of the other parent in the child’s presence.

Do Not Make the Child Choose Sides

Using the child as a messenger can become even more problematic when parents ask the child to communicate opinions about the parenting arrangement.

A parent should be cautious about statements such as:

• “Tell your mother you want to stay here.”
• “Tell your father you don’t like his schedule.”
• “Tell the judge you want to live with me.”

A child’s reasonable preference can be relevant in certain Florida parenting cases, but that does not mean parents should pressure the child to choose between them.

For more information about how Florida treats a child’s preference, see Greenberg Law’s Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With in Florida?

Mistake #6: Assuming Informal Changes Permanently Change the Parenting Plan

Parenting schedules sometimes need flexibility. A parent may have a temporary work conflict, a child’s sports schedule may change, or the parents may agree to exchange weekends because of a family event.

Reasonable cooperation can make a parenting arrangement easier for everyone.

The mistake is assuming that an informal change necessarily creates a permanent legal modification of the existing parenting plan.

There is an important difference between:

“We agreed to switch weekends this month.”

and:

“We permanently changed the court-ordered parenting plan.”

Those are not necessarily the same thing.

Florida law establishes requirements for modifying an existing parenting plan or time-sharing schedule. Parents should therefore be careful about assuming that a temporary or informal arrangement has automatically replaced the court order.

Put Significant Permanent Changes Through the Proper Process

If both parents determine that a different schedule works substantially better over the long term, they may want to consider whether the parenting plan itself should be formally modified.

This can become especially important when changes involve:

• the regular time-sharing schedule;
• school arrangements;
• transportation;
• a parent’s work schedule;
• a parent’s residence;
• the child’s changing needs; or
• other significant aspects of the existing plan.

Until a court order is properly changed, parents should understand which parenting plan remains legally controlling.

Mistake #7: Creating a Plan Without Thinking About Future Disagreements

Parents understandably want to finish a difficult divorce, paternity, or child custody case. That can create pressure to accept vague language with the expectation that the parents will simply “work things out” later.

Sometimes they will. Sometimes they will not.

A stronger parenting plan anticipates ordinary areas of disagreement and provides enough structure to help parents resolve them.

Before finalizing a plan, parents should consider questions such as:

• How much notice should be given for vacations?
• How should requests to change the schedule be made?
• How will parents communicate about the child?
• How will school information be shared?
• How will medical information be exchanged?
• How are extracurricular activities handled?
• What happens when an activity falls during the other parent’s time?
• How will transportation changes be communicated?
• How will holidays override the regular schedule?
• What happens when school closes unexpectedly?

The goal is not to create an enormous parenting plan containing a rule for every event that could possibly happen. It is to anticipate the predictable areas where uncertainty can create unnecessary conflict.

Clear Rules Can Reduce Repeated Arguments

Consider two parenting plans.

The first says, “The parents will cooperate regarding vacations.”

The second establishes how much notice should be provided, how travel information will be exchanged, and how vacation time interacts with the regular time-sharing schedule.

Both plans may have been created by parents who intended to cooperate. The second provides considerably more guidance if cooperation later becomes difficult.

A parenting plan should provide enough clarity that ordinary parenting issues do not repeatedly become new legal disputes.

What If Parents Cannot Agree on the Parenting Plan?

Parents do not always agree about what their parenting plan should contain. They may agree about most parenting issues but remain divided over time-sharing, holidays, school, transportation, decision-making, or another important provision.

A disagreement does not necessarily prevent a parenting plan from being established. Parents may continue trying to resolve disputed issues through negotiation, mediation, or other appropriate processes. They may also resolve some provisions while leaving other issues for the court.

If the parents ultimately cannot reach an agreement, the court can establish the parenting plan according to Florida law and the child’s best interests.

Partial Agreement Can Still Be Valuable

Parents should not assume that mediation or negotiation has failed simply because every issue was not resolved. If they agree about school, transportation, and holidays but remain divided over the regular time-sharing schedule, they have still narrowed the dispute considerably.

The remaining issues can then receive greater attention without requiring the parents to continue fighting over matters they have already resolved.

For a detailed explanation of what happens when an agreement cannot be reached, see Greenberg Law’s What Happens When Parents Cannot Agree on a Parenting Plan?

What If One Parent Doesn’t Follow the Parenting Plan?

Once a parenting plan and time-sharing schedule are established by court order, both parents should understand and follow the requirements that apply to them.

Problems can arise when a parent repeatedly:

• denies scheduled time-sharing;
• fails to return the child as required;
• ignores holiday provisions;
• repeatedly creates problems with exchanges;
• fails to follow transportation requirements;
• interferes with required communication;
• makes unilateral decisions contrary to the parenting plan; or
• otherwise fails to comply with the court-ordered arrangement.

Under Florida Statute § 61.13, remedies may be available when a parent refuses to honor the time-sharing schedule without proper cause. Depending on the circumstances, those remedies can include make-up time-sharing and other relief authorized by Florida law.

Child Support and Time-Sharing Are Separate Issues

A parent should not assume that failure to pay child support automatically permits the other parent to withhold court-ordered time-sharing. Likewise, a dispute involving time-sharing should not be treated as permission to disregard a court-ordered child-support obligation.

When one parent is violating an existing order, addressing the problem through the appropriate legal process is generally preferable to creating a second violation in response.

A Better Parenting Plan Focuses on Everyday Life

A parenting plan should not be designed merely to finish a divorce, paternity, or child custody case. It needs to work after the lawyers, mediation sessions, and court hearings are over.

One useful way to evaluate a proposed parenting plan is to imagine an ordinary school week several months after the plan takes effect.

Ask practical questions:

• Can the child get to school on time from either household?
• Who handles school pickup?
• Who knows about the child’s Thursday dentist appointment?
• Where is the child’s sports equipment?
• How will homework be handled?
• Who transports the child to activities?
• Where does the child spend Thanksgiving?
• What happens when school closes unexpectedly?
• How does one parent request a schedule change?
• How will important information be communicated between households?

Those ordinary questions are often where a parenting plan succeeds or fails.

A good plan should provide enough detail to reduce predictable conflict without making ordinary parenting unnecessarily complicated.

How Greenberg Law Can Help With a Florida Parenting Plan

Parenting plans can affect a family’s daily life long after a divorce, paternity, or child custody case ends. Addressing potential problems before a plan is finalized can help parents avoid uncertainty and repeated disagreements later.

Greenberg Law can assist parents with matters involving:

• parenting-plan preparation and review;
• time-sharing schedules;
• 50/50 time-sharing disputes;
• parental responsibility;
• holiday and vacation schedules;
• school and educational issues;
• transportation and exchanges;
• mediation and parenting-plan negotiations;
• disagreements over proposed parenting plans;
• modification of existing parenting arrangements;
• enforcement of parenting orders; and
• other Florida child custody matters.

Parents who are preparing a parenting plan should consider not only whether they can agree today, but whether the provisions are clear enough to remain workable when schedules, circumstances, and children change.

Talk With Greenberg Law About a Florida Parenting Plan

If you are creating a parenting plan, reviewing a proposed agreement, or dealing with a disagreement about time-sharing or parental responsibility, legal guidance can help identify provisions that may create problems later.

Greenberg Law assists parents in Plantation, Fort Lauderdale, and throughout Broward County, Florida with parenting plans, parental responsibility, time-sharing, mediation, modification, enforcement, and other family-law matters.

A carefully written parenting plan cannot prevent every future disagreement, but it can provide parents with clearer expectations and a more practical framework for raising their child in two households.